


10 things Achilles hates that only Patroclus knows

by carolinka



Category: The Song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-20
Updated: 2016-01-20
Packaged: 2018-05-15 04:38:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5771644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinka/pseuds/carolinka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exactly what the title says.</p>
            </blockquote>





	10 things Achilles hates that only Patroclus knows

  1. Achilles hates coffee. He says he doesn’t like the taste it leaves after it finishes but whenever Pat’s and his mother’s paths crossed, she had filtered black coffee, mocha, latte in her thin hands. Every single time. So Pat is almost sure he hates it because it reminds him of the smell of their house when his mother was still living with them. But still, he drinks coffee every morning and Patroclus can swear no one can make more delicious coffee than Achilles.


  1. Neil fucking Gaiman. He can’t stand how everyone goes on and on abut how he creates a totally new magic world with his every single book, because he’s read all of his books, just to support his case of course and God, he is just so overrated. Honestly, Pat needs to read his books more objectively. And, no, he is not fucking jealous of an author. Jesus.


  1. He can kill anyone who doesn’t do their work in a group project. He can especially kill Agamemnon because for some reason they are always paired and he is never on time. This time he is going to blow up his house, and even Pat can’t stop him.



_“You said that last time too,” Patroclus chuckles, a kind smile playing on his full lips. Achilles’ eyes flicker between his laptop and him. He gets up and kisses him hard._

  1. Vampires. What the fuck is so intriguing about vampires? Centaurs, man! Fucking centaurs! Who needs to read about shiny Edward when they can read about Chiron?


  1. You know that person who is way too affectionate with your beloved one? Yes, he means Briseis. He doesn’t really hate her, he just hates that she can steal Patroclus’ attention better than anyone else. Patroclus would be so quick to deny this, that no one can steal him from Achilles and for the love of Gods, he knows it too but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t sulk for days when they go hiking or whatever.


  1. Dormitory procedures. Look, he understands that they shouldn’t make noise while they fuck but he doesn’t get why they shouldn’t fuck at all. And while he admits, he is rather loud when Patroclus’ tongue twirls around the head of his cock, there is no reason to lend them a official warning.


  1. When will Briseis get a boyfriend? Or better yet, a girlfriend? Yes, she should definitely get a girlfriend because he can basically see her in a happy relationship with a woman, across the ocean, possibly in America, or better yet Australia. Maybe he should look into same sex rights in these countries.


  1. Med school. Maybe people should be more careful not to get sick, so then Patroclus wouldn’t have to work so hard, and for long, long hours. He misses high school, when they could chill in bed for hours but he never says this to Patroclus because he actually fucking likes it and he loves the expression on his face when he talks about some goddamn protein in cells that prevents cancer. (That’s what remains in his head after all those speeches Patroclus made but he will listen to every single bit of those speeches in the future, no matter what.)


  1. He hates when he sees people still bitter about Helen leaving Menelaus and marrying Paris. He doesn’t particular like oh-so-pretty- Paris himself but what’s the point in asking him to take on Hector? What has Hector even done to him?


  1. Achilles hates to imagine a life without Patroclus. But he forces himself and thinks. Thinks about how he would feel but he can’t even form it in his head. He imagines him gone, waking up alone because he could never love someone after him. But he can’t. He knows it’s probably, definitely, unhealthy to shape your life around someone else but he doesn’t care. If Patroclus leaves this goddamn world earlier than Achilles, he’ll follow him right after so they can be burned together and have their ashes mingled. They will be together beyond death.



 

 

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [7 things Bucky hates that only Steve knows about](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6211069) by [mostlikelydefinentlymad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mostlikelydefinentlymad/pseuds/mostlikelydefinentlymad)




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